My Wedding BlogArticles, Advice and Tips from Me & Others in the Industry.
Weddings By Jay Allen - Articles to help
What better time to celebrate the beautiful earth or make good on any of your eco related resolutions for the year than at your wedding. We have been inspired by the large number of companies taking a stance on environmental issues and embracing alternative products that do less harm to our world.
With all that in mind, this month, in homage to our planet we have rounded up some top tips for you to have a more environmentally conscious wedding. Ditch your pen and paper and jot this one down on your electronic to do list instead.
Say no to confetti Whilst it is tempting to have one of those Instagram worthy photos leaving your wedding venue while your guests shower you in confetti, it’s actually quite harmful to our environment and wildlife, not to mention you will be polluting your wedding venue with the tiny specs of confetti that are hard to get rid of.
Confetti is difficult to tidy up and depending on how it is made it might not be biodegradable, and if left sitting in the soil the dye can be damaging to our environment. As an alternative insist the support of your most crafty friends for a day of DIY. Purchase a hole punch and rummage through your gardens for some leaves. Use your hole punch to make small circles in each leaf for an eco-friendly confetti. Alternatively, speak to your florist about doing confetti made from flower petals.
Fancy a vegetarian reception? For anyone looking to be more conscious reducing your meat consumption is one of the first steps. Whilst some go completely meat-free others opt for an alternative like meat-free Mondays. Livestock farming is said to contribute to approximately 18 per cent of human produced greenhouse gas emissions. By having a meat-free reception not only will you be reducing greenhouse gases and encouraging your guests to take a stance, but you’ll also be making a small impact against deforestation, biodiversity loss and water degradation.
Wedding favours with a purpose
Have you thought about giving seeds as wedding favours? Not only are they gender neutral so you won’t have to worry about getting multiple types of favours, but they will also serve as a longer lasting memory of your wedding. Your guests will love growing their own plants whether they be flowers or herbs that they can add to a delicious home cooked meal. Say no to traditional favours made from harmful materials and in non-ethical ways and opt for a favour that won’t just be stored away after the big day.
A conscious lead-up Bridal showers and hens’ parties, particularly those thrown from home can be a nightmare for anyone who is looking to be more waste free. At such large events plastic is often the go to for convenience but there are alternatives.
Straws: No plastic straws for your cocktails purchase paper or stainless steel ones instead.
Napkins: Plenty of stores stock cheap cloth napkins that can be used time and time again and are easy to clean. Look for cloth napkins made from sustainable cotton and to help offset emissions, shop locally or avoid buying products that are not made in Australia. They are far easier to find than you may think, Kmart even stocks them now in a variety of colours, so no excuses!
Games: It might be hard to find plastic free alternatives to games you might play at these types of events so why not try your hand at DIY. Gather your closest friends and make some sustainable products instead, you could try make shampoo bars, deodorant and even have a vegan cook off!
Go paperless Ditch the wedding planner and get app savvy! There are plenty of apps like ‘WeddingHappy’ available to help guide you through your wedding planning. They cover important things like your to-do list, budget, deadlines and can be shared with your partner or the bridal party.
The MC is more than just a funny guy with a mic. The MC should work with the wedding planners and coordinators as well as the venue, entertainment, photographers, videographers etc to ensure the whole event goes smoothly. They help keep to time, they help move people between places (eg, if you are having a fire works display and your guests need to move outside to a deck area) but also between activities – eg, cake cutting, dancing, meals. Perhaps most importantly, the MC helps set the mood.
Although, all too often the role of MC is not taken seriously. Probably the biggest mistake we see is where a couple chooses a friend or family member to be the MC, even though they have no suitable expertise or experience.
For couples who choose to omit some or all of the formalities from their wedding, an appropriate friend or family member can work quite well.
However, my theory is that everyone from the bride and groom right through to each guest should be enjoying your wedding. This means, no guest should be ‘working’ at your wedding–that’s what staff and vendors are for!
While it may be a great honour for them, when you ask a guest to be MC at your wedding, it will also be a burden. It will stop that guest from having fun and relaxing at your wedding – because they must be conscience of timings and how things are running. They wouldn’t be able to enjoy their meal and have a few drinks. That’s not to say that many amateur MC’s don’t try! I have seen several in my time who have enjoyed their drinks just a little too much and don’t realise that what they are saying over the microphone may be inappropriate, embarrassing or downright annoying, especially when they’re carrying that microphone around and start singing whilst on the dance floor.
A better option is to hire a professional MC, someone who has experience and the skills to do the job properly. The qualities of a good MC include:
A strong and commanding voice,
A pleasant and respectful demeanour,
Cool under pressure,
Organised and can work to a schedule.
Possibly the best thing about a professional MC is that they are just that, professional. They are there to do a job, not to cut loose or practice their karaoke. Like many other vendors you’ll hire for your wedding, it’s all the little things you don’t see that make all the difference between an amateur and professional MC.
By using my professional and highly experienced DJ and MC skills you assured of the very best service.
There has been a lot of talk lately about venues and wedding suppliers demanding kickbacks or commissions to be on recommended suppliers list - or suppliers offering incentives, gifts or payments for recommendations made to them. Now whilst this is nothing new to many industries it is reasonably new (slowly creeping in mainly within the past 4-5 years) to the wedding industry. I’m not sure about you but for the 20 years that I have been in the wedding industry I have always considered it to be an honest, elegant, classy, above-the-grubbiness industry where those who chose this industry as their career did so to not only make a living but to deliver the best service they can to help a couple have the best day possible, without compromising on integrity. I always saw wedding suppliers and venues as leaders in the community who could be trusted and relied on to give honest advice and exceptional delivery of their service and products for what is essentially not only one of the most important days of a couples life, but also one of the most expensive ones. They rely on our integrity, honesty, experience, knowledge, skill, and often friendship to do right by them as they see these traits as being equally as important as the price they are paying for each product or service. So why do we feel the need to have to muddy the waters by essentially undermining our own integrity and ethics and essentially bribe people to refer us? Yes, it is nothing short of a bribe. Should we not be receiving referrals because of our reputation of hard work, longevity in the industry, standard of service delivery, the quality of our goods as well as as a history of generally doing the right thing within the industry and to brides and grooms? Does this change now mean that these things matter less nowadays? Are we really that money hungry that we would push these other traits aside to make a quick buck in addition to our going rate? And on that note, where does all this stand legally? You know, with the ATO? I know there are many legitimate businesses that have a business structure based on referrals and commissions, such as wedding planners or wedding booking sites that have transparency in how they operate, but those who receive the $200 cash payment from a photographer, or the $50 gift voucher for a day spa from a makeup artist, or the movie vouchers or grocery gift cards that a celebrant demands as their chosen form of currency, are these all declared as income? And who pays for this in the end? Well we know the answer to that!
Yes, you may say that many industries have or had this sort of arrangement but let’s look at a couple: The travel industry started many, many years ago with under the counter kickbacks and commissions, but then developed a commission structure that became more transparent and accepted across the board to the point that the majority of companies have industry set commissions in place . The medical industry - yes for years doctors were known to receive junkets, money and gifts from various companies that encouraged and rewarded them for recommending their products or services until the Medical Board of Australia stepped in and implemented a strict Code of Conduct which, amongst other things, required doctors to disclose to patients any financial interest they have in products or services they are recommending. The building industry - as part of a new building contract builders are required to disclose their mark-up percentage on external suppliers they use so that the owners are fully informed of their financial commitment. Why was all this formalised? To ensure their industries remained transparent and seen as ethical as they were rapidly losing credibility with the public and their customers.
Weddings however have one distinctive difference….they are hierarchial. Meaning that there is a general order of suppliers who are booked first, due to the planning and logistics of the wedding, with other suppliers being booked further down the track. This then can create an unfair playing field across all sectors of the wedding industry: venues, normally the largest ticket item of a wedding are traditionally booked first as that then sets the date. Then, unless the couple are having a wedding planner, the next thing on the list is a marriage celebrant, as there won’t be a wedding without them. From there the couple will normally start looking at photographers, dresses, cakes, florists, suits, decorators, stationery, and work their way down the list to DJ’s/MC’s, make-up and hair, car hire, etc. This can then establish an almost pyramid setup whereby the venue/supplier at the top can wield the power to direct brides and grooms wherever they like, and possibly even hold hostage those suppliers below who rely on recommendations and don’t want to, or can’t afford to, pay. Is this fair? Who wins in the end? Of course not all venues or suppliers who are booked first do this, of course many, or I'd like to think most, don't, but how do the bride and groom know? Well keep reading.
So where does it end? If everyone in the industry, in all fields, does this will we end up creating an industry that prices itself out of its own market? Will we see an increase in DIY weddings to avoid this ‘wedding tax’ as it is already being nicknamed. Is it not better for all concerned, brides and grooms as well as suppliers alike to avoid practices like this to give each business the best chance to survive? Isn’t honest healthy competition competing on our own merits better than competing on who can pay the most for a referral? At the end of the day these extra costs have to come from somewhere. Either businesses absorb the costs and eventually go broke or they reduce their products or services to compete on price, or they pass on the cost to the bride and groom in way of increased prices. Multiply this process by the number of different suppliers that a couple will book for their wedding day and you can see where I’m headed with this. Who wins in the end? Definitely not the bride and groom.
So where to from here? It’s not up to me or the next person to tell anyone how to run their business; it is not illegal to provide kickbacks or commissions (although it may be to not declare them as income) however is this really the best business practice for the wedding industry? Is it possible to stop this before it becomes the norm throughout the entire wedding industry? Surely if each individual business was to make the decision not to venture down this path or refuse demands of payment for referrals, that we could nip this in the bud before it goes any further? I’d like to think so. Yeah, sure, we are only small fries in a big industry but small steps can lead to a big change. So how do we get the word out that we are doing the right thing by our brides and grooms? How can we promote our point of difference without blatantly pointing out that others (possibly our opposition) are paying for their recommendations, which then makes us look bad? By joining Ethical Wedding Professionals.
Ethical Wedding Professionals was established for this, amongst other reasons. It is a not-for-profit FREE membership for venues and wedding suppliers to publicly and legally declare that they operate their business in an ethical manner in keeping with the EWP Code Of Ethics. Amongst the list of Code Of Ethics is the requirement to ‘ disclose any financial interest or payment (extending to and including monetary payment, exchange of service of value), referral or recommendation of services, products or venues, as well as having no expectation or demand of payment for referrals or recommendations including commissions, gifts or kickbacks’. By promoting what we don’t do makes brides and grooms aware of what is happening in the wedding industry and just might get them asking the question. Am I being referred wedding suppliers because they are the best available...or because the venue/supplier is making money on it? Picture this change and then ask yourself again: who wins in the end? Yes, everyone! www.ethicalweddingprofessionals.com
Choosing the right musical entertainment for your big day is so important. The fact is, there are 3 things that people talk about after a wedding. 1- The Dress 2- The Food/Venue 3- The Entertainment. So who do you trust to provide the soundtrack for your big day? A Band? A DJ? Both?.. Lets take a look at the pro’s and con’s of each…
A Band
The atmosphere of a band is unique. The energy of live musicians. The interactivity of a charismatic lead singer. All pretty hard for a DJ to match. A band, while they may rock the songs they do know, they will only know a limited amount of songs. A band will almost always cost you more and take up more space in your venue.
A DJ
While a great band has an atmosphere that can’t be beat, a great DJ has a song list and a flexibility that can’t be beat. A great DJ can also have the same level of energy and charisma as a band lead singer. They generally take up less space and be more adaptable with the space provided. The better more experienced DJs can also act as MCs.
While I’m on the subject, your MC (Master of Ceremonies), a great entertainer (DJ or Musician) can often act as your MC. Some couples ask a friend or family member to act as MC. It is a great honour, and if you know the right person, it can be a huge success. But remember that being a great MC isn’t just being funny and well spoken. A great MC will be half Entertainer and half event manager, co-ordinating with your other suppliers, your venue, your guests and you. In asking someone you know to do the job, you are also asking them to take a lot responsibility for your big day.
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This is just a helpful little advice for picking those 'special moment' songs for your reception...
Entrance Song(s). Here is where we set the mood for your reception... Loving, Sweet, Fun, Funny or Party Party PARTY... Some couples have a separate song for the bridal party and a different song for the couple. And sometimes they use the same song for everyone... There are no set rules.. We say use this moment to say something about you as a couple.
Your first Dance This moment is often one of the most emotional moments of the whole day. There is no rules for this song, this song is all about you. And don't stress about the dancing if you are not a great dancer, honestly the first dance is a beautiful moment whether you have a full choreographed routine or you just sway side to side...
Father/Daughter & Mother/Son. A sweet moment to share a dance with a parent (or a child). Talk to them about what song makes them think of you.
The General Dancefloor. We ask that you leave us some flexibility with picking the music, we welcome requests and a list of 'must play' & 'don't play' songs. But you hired us because of our knowledge and experience, and reading a crowd is our speciality..
